It was high noon, the seas were angry, salty, treacherous. Turning from the shore I squinted looking up. The rain pelted my cold sallow face as I struggled with my next move. In the distance some twenty fathoms off shore I saw my demise, my bane. He stood on the forefront of the deck wearing a kilt covered in his own piss, long green socks, thick hairy legs, and a knitted sweater he had received from his grandma nearly twelve Christmas' ago. I could feel his stern gaze strife upon my mind burning through the back of my head guessing my next move. Here I was, cornered on an island doomed to fight my last days as his onion smelling breath descended upon me. As I struck up a path north I climbed, frantically. No more than twenty minutes had gone by had he hit shore that I found it. By some miracle a few sea lizards were camped out upon a rock humping the dull rainy day away that I saw it. A handle, in the shape of testicles. The place was incredibly hidden. After studying the door I read ancient runes that said House Of Refuge, luckily I had a degree in Runiology. There I found an ample supply of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni, Chicken Fried Rice Hamburger Helper, and Dunkaroos. There was more than enough of a water supply to last me a fortnight and a free subscription to Podcast Radio Network so that I could listen to Missing Richard Simmons on repeat. It was nearly an hour later that the Peyote wore off and I realized I was in the trunk of an abandoned Volkswagen Golf with my shirt wrapped around my head holding a can of Bush's Original Baked Beans. I did not actually find the house of refuge but thought this story was rather relevant. 5 Stars!
House Of Refuge is a US Travel Agency based in Captain Cook, Hawaii. House Of Refuge is located at 82-5909 Coffee Royal Pl Suite A, Captain Cook, HI 96704, USA.
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